Draco the Slyther-insane
by Totally Kowalski
Summary: What if they told you that it never existed? What if the proud pureblood family supporting the takeover of the Muggles was never real? Is Draco really just another insane patient? Or, is something dark in the works after Voldemort's downfall...
1. Chapter 1

He saw the blinding white light of the curse and shielded his face. His body was thrown back against the stone wall with a thud. Searing pain erupted in his head and side before he fell into darkness.

…

…

…

"Is he going to be alright?" A worried female voice came from beyond the darkness.

"Yes Mrs. Malfoy, he's coming around now." A male responded.

Draco groaned before opening his eyes. He winced painfully at the bright lights. His side and head weren't hurting anymore, probably due to magic. He gave a sigh of relief before he jumped. What had startled him was a metal contraption to his right. It was beeping and showing lines which were moving across the machine.

"What the-?"

"Draco, darling, are you alright?"

Draco turned his head to see his mother standing next to a tall man. Both of them were dressed like Muggles.

"Mother?" He asked.

"Yes, darling, it's me." Narcissa said. "The doctor said you would be a little confused for a minute or two, but you're alright now."

"Doctor? Don't you mean Healer?" Draco said.

Narcissa sighed. "He's doing it again." She said to the doctor.

"Are you okay, Draco? You got hit in the head rather hard." The doctor said, giving Narcissa a small nod.

"I know, what was that curse?" he asked.

"Draco, honey, even though you're seventeen I must remind you that we don't curse." Mrs. Malfoy said. "It just makes you sound like an awful person."

"No, I didn't mean curse words, I meant curses. I'm a wizard."

"I know, you're a wizard in Chemistry and-"

"I mean a wizard as in potions and brooms and spells and You-Know-Who."

"Who?"

"You-Know-Who." Draco said bluntly. "Harry Potter defeated the most terrible dark wizard of all time and you're asking who he is?"

"Honey, I've met Harry Potter and I don't think he'd hurt a fly."

"Potter does fly, on a broom."

"Really? His mother told me he was afraid of heights."

"He's not afraid of- wait, did you say his mother?"

"Yes, Lily Potter."

"Mum, Potter doesn't have parents. The Dark Lord killed them and Potter was raised by muggles since he was a baby."

"Honey, we keep telling you that it isn't real." Narcissa said.

"What are you talking about?" Draco asked, now officially scared. "Mum, this joke has to stop. I don't care if the bloody Weasleys are in on this; I just want it to stop."

"Weasleys? What do Molly, Arthur, or any of their children have to do with this?"

"One of their kids died in the battle…I think it was Frank or whatever his name is."

"Fred? He's perfectly fine; he stopped by our house to return an umbrella they borrowed."

"House? We live in a mansion!"

Narcissa began to weep silently.

"Don't worry, Narcissa, we'll keep going on the therapy." The doctor told her.

"Therapy? W-what does that mean?"

"It means we're going to help you. You may not realize it, but you're creating your own fantasy world as a coping mechanism for something."

"I don't understand!" Draco shouted. He was about to add something else when a face caught his eye. "WHAT THE BLOODY H-"

"Draco, don't swear at your Aunt!" Narcissa snapped. She made a motion for the woman to enter.

Bella was followed by her sister, niece, and cousin.

"Hi Draco!" Tonks said brightly. Her brown hair had bright pink streaks in it. "Guess who got a boyfriend!"

"Guess who might be watching like a hawk." Sirius said.

"B-but…y-you guys are blood traitors…and dead…"

"No, but Remy will be if he hurts my dear cousin." Sirius said.

"He's your best friend." Tonks said.

"He's a werewolf." Draco said. "He's a werewolf and Black was a prisoner in Azkaban and now the werewolf and you are dead and left your kid behind."

"KID?!" Sirius shouted indignantly. "Don't tell me you're-"

"Dora, you can't be!" Andromeda said.

"Oh dear." Bella said.

"I'm not!" Tonks shouted defensively.

"And Auntie Bellatrix Lestrange is insane."

"Okay, maybe buying you your own motorcycle on your sixteenth birthday was a bit much, but I wouldn't say insane." Bellatrix said, sounding offended. "And it's Black now."

"I still can't believe you married that git." Andromeda said.

"I swear I'm not pregnant." Tonks said to Sirius who was still glaring at her.

"What's a motorcycle?" Draco asked.

Sirius gasped and clutched his chest. "I-I can't believe it…my own baby cousin said that…I am wounded…"

"Idiot." Tonks muttered.

"NYMPHADORA TONKS!" Andromeda said. "You do NOT call anyone an idiot."

"Mum, I'm an adult now." Tonks complained. "Fine, I'm sorry Sirius…sorry that you're such a dog."

"Brat." Sirius said.

"Sirius, do not call your cousin a brat." Andromeda said.

"You are not my mum."

"Is this the kind of example you set for your younger cousins and your Godson?"

"No." Sirius said, glaring at Bellatrix who was silently laughing at him.

"Could someone explain what's going on here? I think I'm going insane!" Draco said.

"That's why you were in St. Mundo's." Bellatrix said.

"Don't you mean St. Mungo's?"

"No."

THUMP! Draco fainted again.

He had a strange dream that he was trying to get into Hogwarts, but the further he ran, the further the castle seemed to get.

He next woke up in a different room, but no one was around. He was still trying to process everything that happened.

"Draco?"

"GRANGER! I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad to see you!" He said. "Can you please make sense of this? I know you're the smart one, please help me! How did I get here? Where's Hogwarts?"

"Draco…Hogwarts doesn't exist." Hermione said. "Everything you talk about, the Wizard world, wars, Hogwarts…it just doesn't exist."

"B-but I have no memory of anything else but the Wizarding World." Draco said.

"I'm sorry, but I can't help you."

"Wait! At least tell me what happened to my father."

"You honestly don't remember, do you?"

Draco shook his head.

Hermione sighed and sat herself in the chair next to his bed.

"He used to tell you stories about magic and fairytales when you were little. He told of fantastic adventures to faraway places, maybe Hogwarts was one of them. But when you were eleven, he started acting strangely and one day your mum found out he was cheating on her. He'd gotten another woman pregnant and left your family. The two of them died in a car crash when that baby was one. You never forgave him, but for the past year you've been talking about him as if he had no choice which is when I think you created this story. You imagined that he was recruited into a dark group and forced to lie to you and your mum. You wanted a happy ending so you created all of this. Your happy ending was that you won the battle and your dad came back. You also put your hatred of the baby into Harry Potter because he broke your phone and you were still mad. You also created this 'technology doesn't work with magic' thing because you didn't want to think about your phone. You also forgave Harry when you let him survive the end of your story."

"So, I imagined all of this?" Draco whispered. "Then…why can't I remember my life?"

"It's possible that the story became so real that after you came out of unconsciousness, you swapped out that life for this. Possibly you had a mild concussion that allowed you to forget everything and live in this fantasy world."

"So…I'm not a Slytherin…I'm Slyther-insane…"

Hermione gave him a sad smile. "I'm sorry, I can't help you. I just volunteer here."

Draco attempted to give a weak smile back

Hermione left Draco to his thoughts.

_I have got to get back to Hogwarts. I'll pretend to be normal, but I promise- and mark my words- I WILL get back. I am Draco Malfoy and I am NOT insane._

**A/N: Something that was in my head…thought I'd get it out there and see how it goes. Hope you like it.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Hi Draco, how are you doing today?" A man in a white uniform asked.

It had been a few days since Draco woke up to find that his entire life never existed.

"I'm not a baby." Draco snapped. "Am I allowed to go home yet?"

"Yes, this will be our last meeting unless anything warrants our attention, Mr. Malfoy."

"Alright, I'm fine." Draco said.

The man asked a few more questions, wrote something on a clipboard, then smiled and told Draco that he could go home.

The blond boy was only too happy to oblige. He followed the man out into the waiting room where Hermione was working at the desk.

"Hey, I know you." A man's voice came from behind. "I saws you on the place with the thing…" his blue eyes seemed unfocused. "They says you crazy, kid…"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Mr. Lockhart, please go back to your room."

"Yes, Miriam."

The brown haired girl sighed and grabbed Lockhart's arm, escorting him away.

"Poor fellow." Someone said.

Draco turned around to see his aunt standing there.

"He has short term memory loss, and he's not doing so well since his accident."

"Been Obliviated…" Draco muttered under his breath. No one caught that.

"I trust him in your care Miss Black?" The man said.

"Of course." Bellatrix said with a smile.

Draco winced as if expecting something else. He had been expecting an evil cackle followed by a stream of hexes and curses followed by the word 'Mudblood' and more laughter.

"Draco dear, time to go."

Draco hesitantly followed her outside. He felt a small bit of fear in what she'd said because, to him, she'd said that a year ago while fleeing from the scene of Dumbledore's death.

"Can I see your left arm?" Draco blurted before he could stop himself.

"Again?" Bellatrix asked. She pulled up her sleeve to reveal a scar there. It looked faded and pink, but ordinary. Draco had a look of confusion. "Got in a fight with a bear."

"What?"

"Haha, just kidding! You should have seen your face." She said with a huge grin. "Seriously though, there's a reason they tell you not to climb certain fences." She shuddered. "Never trusted those things… tore up my prom dress too- is something the matter?"

She had reached for Draco to put a hand on his shoulder, but he had flinched away.

"Is it about…" she gestured back to the hospital.

"Yes. It's too strange right now. Too…insane…"

"I know what you mean, seventeen is crazy, huh?"

"Sure."

"Well, here we are." She opened the door of a dark blue car.

Draco wanted to ask something, but he didn't want to end up in that hospital again. They got in the car and drove off. He kept glancing at Bellatrix who was humming to herself.

"Nervous?" Bellatrix asked when she saw him. "You're about to enter your final year of secondary school. You have the rest of the year to think about university applications."

"Come again?"

"I hear Hermione's going to Brown." She gave a sly grin and a wink.

"Granger?"

"I don't know any other Hermione."

"I don't know…I haven't really thought about it."

"Of course you want to be in the mechanic business like your uncle."

"Uncle?"

"Sirius…" She rolled her eyes. "I love my cousin, but sometimes he can be a downright pain. Rubs his success in our faces…but I suppose he's a good uncle…"

"You love him?"

"Of course, he's still my favorite cousin even though Re…" She inhaled deeply. "I'll tell you later."

"Why not now?"

"Certain things…I can't bring myself to…not…" She took another deep breath. "Please understand that he's a tough subject for the entire family to talk about…especially Sirius…his brother…"

"I'm sorry, I'll ask Mum."

Bellatrix smiled. "Sorry, Draco. I let emotions get the better of me sometimes. That would explain why I can't watch a romantic movie without a box of tissues."

Draco snorted and eventually began laughing. Bellatrix laughed along with him. She laughed because her nephew could be so adorable. Draco laughed because it was the last thing he could expect from Bellatrix, well, the Bellatrix that he knew…or thought he knew.

"Do I have any cousins?" Draco asked curiously, he'd never been introduced to any cousins in his wizarding life.

"Obviously Dora." Bellatrix said. "Sirius is too much of a git to stay with one lady. Though he managed to babysit you and Harry once…might have helped that Remus was there. As for me, I had a baby, but she died when you were three. She was seven and was spending the day with her uncle…"

"I'll ask my mother." Draco blurted out again. He had the odd sense of wanting to be tactful and mind his aunt's feelings, but he was confused between her and the insane sociopathic Bellatrix.

Bellatrix smiled.

They were silent for a while.

"Do you think Tom's cute?" Bellatrix asked as they turned into a driveway.

"The creepy bar guy?"

"Ew, no. He has a family. I mean Tom Riddle. He's really ni-"

"NO!" Draco said, his heart began beating frantically. He knew the name. Hadn't Dumbledore spoken it while he was alive? Potter had even taunted Voldemort with that name. "He's pure evil, EVIL I TELL YOU!"

"Draco, calm down. Now I agree he hasn't done the best things in the past, but he's trying to improve his life."

"NO-NOSE EVIL SNAKE MUGGLE BORN KILLING FAMILY TEARING HORRENDOUS SADISTIC -"

He stopped at the look on Bellatrix's face. It was a look that said she was quite offended.

"I-I'm sorry…" He said with panic in his voice. "Don't send me back there…I'll do anything…j-just don't send me back to that place…please…I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Bellatrix said softly. "We're at your house now."

Even as they walked up to the large two story house, Draco still felt like the woman beside him was going to turn around at any second and begin throttling him.

"Have you heard of Moaning Myrtle?" Draco asked, hoping to change subject.

Bellatrix looked surprised. "Y-yes. Tom told me about her." She eyed her nephew for any strange behavior at the name. "Turned a few heads, huh? When he knew her at school, she was…I hate to say it, but she was a full out loser. She was a pimply geek with huge glasses and so many emotional problems…"

"And now?"

"Apparently at age twenty her acne cleared up, she bought smaller spectacles and now she owns a successful jewelry chain."

"Say what? What else did Tom tell you?"

Bellatrix smiled. "How a gentle giant thought that owning a black widow was a good idea."

"Hagrid?"

"Yes, Rubeus brought a box of spiders and wanted to share with the class…point of the story, Tom killed the spiders and Rubeus was suspended."

"And nothing about the Chamber of Secrets?"

Bellatrix laughed. "No, that's what Tom calls his privacy room sometimes."

"How did I turn that into a story about a monster living in there?"

"He said that on Halloween when you kids were being nosy about his haunted house. I think you were five. Anyway, I forgive you little nephew. I could never stay mad at you, you're my favorite nephew."

"I'm your only nephew…"

"That is completely true."

_How did I turn my aunt into a crazy sadistic killer? _He thought as they approached the door. _And what is with this whole 'Tom Riddle is good' thing… I swear it's not how it was in my brain…Who was the Draco who lived in this world? I know I'm not him…I'm not insane…I'm trapped…if so…who's in my body at Hogwarts?_

He barely registered entering the house; all he knew was that he was being hugged.

"Hello Draco, how are you?" His mother asked.

"Fine." He glanced nervously at Bellatrix.

"What did I tell you, kiddo?" Bellatrix said. "It's fine, I forgive you."

"I'll ask later." Narcissa said. "I would have come to get you, but a certain someone decided to pull a prank and now I'm showing him how to use cleaning equipment."

"IT WAS AN AWESOME PRANK!" A voice yelled from nearby.

"FIX MY HOUSE!" Narcissa yelled back.

"Sirius scrubbing, now this I have to see." Bellatrix laughed, walking down the hallway.

The house wasn't nearly as fancy as the manor he was used to, but it was clean and formal looking. It seemed as if it was recently sold with the perfect condition…perfect until Sirius decided to set an exploding trap for the next person who entered the bathroom. Now he was scrubbing soda, soap, and what seemed like tar, off of the tile floors and the walls.

"Draco, are you feeling better? Do you think you're up to going to the birthday party?"

"Party, for who?" Draco asked.

"Whom." Narcissa corrected. "And it's for Harry and Neville. They were supposed to have it last week, but they wanted to make sure you were all better and some of their guests were sick."

"Sure, why not." Draco said. I might as well succumb to this world, and then maybe I can find a way out.

"Wonderful, I'll give them a call. Then you can lol with your friends."

"Pardon?" Draco shook his head, thinking he hadn't heard her correctly. He followed her into the sitting room where there was a phone attached to a wire.

"Isn't that what you and your friends call it? Ron was going on about how he was going to invent this thing where you send mail by your wireless phone. You, Harry, Ron, and Justin came up with your own wireless phone-mail language."

"Justin?"

"Finch-Fletchly, dear." She said, dialing numbers on the house phone.

"Wea- er…Ron's dad loves these things." Draco said. It was so awkward calling the ginger boy by his first name. He figured that he was cunning enough to lie to the people of this world and act his way out slyly, after all, was it not a Slytherin the hat had placed him in? Of course, these people could be utterly different so he would watch himself carefully. He let his trademark smirk appear on his face briefly.

His mother had noticed, but she took it as a small smile and began talking on the phone.

Draco decided to take advantage of the moment and observe the house.

He stepped out into the back yard and saw a beautifully kept lawn with a bird bath. The bird bath had peacocks carved into it. He noticed a tire swing and a skateboard near the door. A table and set of chairs was on the right side, covered by a large umbrella, although it wasn't needed on a clear and beautiful day. There was an odd looking metal contraption across from the table and chairs. He approached it and lifted the lid. There was what looked like coal in it. Words on the side of the contraption told him it was a grill.

"I wonder if that's where grilled cheese comes from." He wondered out loud.

Retreating back inside, he found another room which looked far fancier than the living room. He guessed it to be the formal dining area. He repressed a shudder as he remembered a certain meeting in a certain manor. Although the atmosphere was brighter in this world, he couldn't help but draw parallels with his own.

He wandered down the hall that Bellatrix had gone down. As he went, he noticed several photographs. He had to remember that the pictures didn't move in this world. Most were of Draco with many of his mother in them. There was one picture with him, his mother, his two aunts, Ted, Dora, and Sirius. One caught his eye in particular. It was of the same group, but with two added faces and much younger. A young girl who looked like she could be six or seven was holding Draco's hand as if trying to keep him from wandering off. Bellatrix had a hand on the girl's shoulder. The other extra was a young man. Sirius had his arm around the neck of this man and both were sporting identical grins. The man looked younger than Sirius and nearly identical except for the length of hair and Sirius looked a bit thinner than the man. He presumed that the young girl was the deceased daughter of Belltrix and the man must have been Sirius's late brother.

He continued down the hall until he heard a snicker that was obviously trying not to be hidden. Bellatrix was standing in the doorway of the bathroom with a highly amused look on her face.

Draco let out a laugh as he saw Sirius scrubbing the floors. He was wearing a pink apron, yellow gloves, and a hair net. He was also muttering.

"Stinking hair net…can't keep my beautiful locks trapped…what's in this stuff it looks horrible…stupid smells." He rubbed his nose. Suddenly he gagged and his eyes went wide with terror. "OH BLOODY- OW THAT INSULTS MY NOSE-WHAT AN AWFUL STENCH! NARCISSA WHAT DO YOU USE AND HOW DOES IT MAKE THE BATHROOM BETTER?!"

"It's called chemicals, Sirius." Narcissa said exasperatedly, rolling her eyes. "And it gets rid of the gunk you covered my clean bathroom with."

"I said I was sorry." Sirius grumbled. "It smells awful, is there bacon in this soap?"

Narcissa sighed and turned to the other two. "So, Lily said that the party will be on Saturday. It would have been tomorrow but those twins got themselves into trouble again and are grounded until Friday. Plus, she received word that Luna still had a little bit of a cold. She should be better by Tuesday, but Lily, Molly, and Alice agree that it's for the best."

"Alice? Longbottom's mother?"

"Yes, she's doing much better now."

"Mum, I should tell you that I don't really remember much of my life here."

Narcissa gave him a sad look. "Don't worry, dear." She said. "We're there to support you. Alice and Frank injured when Neville was young. There was a robbery at a store they went to late at night and they barely escaped with their lives. Alice is now paralyzed from the waist down and needs a wheelchair. Frank is a long term resident in a psychiatric hospital. He was hit in the head and now he suffers from increased paranoia and whatever trauma happened to him afterwards. He seems to only recognize his immediate family, meaning his mother, wife and son. The three robbers were arrested and two died in jail."

_Really? You sure they weren't tortured to insanity by your lovely sister?_ Draco thought. "Were Harry Potter's family attacked?" _Something had to happen, right?_

"No, but Lily did frighten us by having several dizzy spells and nearly fainting halfway down the stairs when she was pregnant. James had a concussion from playing football when he was eighteen and we were afraid he'd leave us too soon. It was really soon after Sirius introduced us to his energetic friend."

_Either way, Potter's existence was in danger… wait, did she say- _"Football?"

"Apparently he decided to be a 'ball-whisperer' at the most inconvenient moment and his classmate couldn't stop her foot in time."

"Is there a teacher called Snape?"

"Yes, he teaches chemistry. Although the school called and informed us that he was recovering from a rather bad snake bite and he wouldn't be returning for a while. It gave him horrid allergic reactions."

"Speaking of, I better give him his gift basket. You know how he hates people being tardy." Bellatrix said.

"Send him some shampoo, would you?" Sirius said. "And tell him the excuse 'chemicals make my hair greasy anyway' will not work for a LONG time."

"Will do." Bellatrix said. "That is one of the only times I agree with your uncle." She told Draco.

"Technically he's my second cousin." Sirius said.

"Technically, I don't care."

Bellatrix winked and left before Sirius could come up with a clever retort.

Draco took this opportunity to learn about two missing relatives. "Mum…" he said.

She turned to find that he was standing next to a familiar picture.

"You want to know about them, don't you?" Narcissa said sadly.

Draco nodded. He followed his mother as she took the photo and sat on the couch. He sat next to her, looking at the happy family. The frozen people were unaware that in a year or less of time, two would be missing from their number.

"Bella's ex took the picture if you want to know. They broke it off when she was seven weeks pregnant with another baby…"

"Say what?"

"From the beginning then." Narcissa said. "Bellatrix was three weeks pregnant and had just announced the news to us which is why everyone is so excited. Little Sierra was your aunt's pride and joy. You were her favorite. That being said, she was also your worst enemy."

"Dress up?"

Narcissa gave a light chuckle. "Putting it mildly, yes. Though it only happened when she was extremely bored. Otherwise you two were the best of friends. She even got to do a night time routine, with assistance of course."

Draco tried to imagine himself in a dress and the little girl fawning over him.

"Regulus here," Draco diverted his attention as his mother continued. "Sirius's brother…he was very shy and quiet. Only his brother managed to break him out of his shell. Finally, it was Bellatrix who suggested it…and never forgave herself…she wanted happy little Sierra to try and get her uncle to have a real smile and show his happy side.

It was a very cloudy day, but Sierra wasn't going to let it get her down. Before the incident, they had managed to use the restaurant's phone to inform us of their adventures so far and that they were coming home before the rain got worse. For lunch, they had gone to the carnival and purchased cotton candy. Regulus never made it to the bathroom after a particularly jerky ride. All of it came out on an old couple seated in front of them."

Draco snorted.

"They then went to an arcade and raced cars for an hour. Sierra said that she almost threw up when she saw the shooting deer game. Overall, they were enjoying their day when it began to rain. They managed to get to the car where they left the umbrellas and they decided to go to a restaurant. I remember Bellatrix saying that Sierra informed her that she would have to eat salad for a week to lose all of that 'greasy yuckiness'. They had pizza and bread for dinner and ended with treacle tart and fried ice cream for dessert. Regulus told Bellatrix that he was thankful and that they had a wonderful time and were heading out as soon as they hung up. Sierra said thank you and told her mom that she loved her and couldn't wait for her baby brother or sister to come. They both closed the conversation by simultaneously saying 'bye' after Bellatrix wished them safe travels…" She said the last words faintly "I-it was very dark and foggy…the off… the official reports are t-that..." Narcissa took a deep breath, tears appearing in her blue eyes. "A…" she couldn't bring herself to say it.

"They had to swerve to avoid a drunk driver and ended up shooting off a cliff into an overflowing lake." Sirius said.

Draco spun around; he hadn't noticed the man approach.

"The windows broke and my brother drowned trying to save Sierra's life." He said softly. "She was able to get one last spark of a glow toy to alert a driver before she passed out. The driver told the passenger to alert the authorities while he jumped off the cliff to save her. She'd gone below the surface before he could pull her out. He tried resuscitating her but it was no use. By the time any professional arrived, she had died. Her last words to the man had been a barely audible 'Mama'. Regulus died of drowning as he'd been pulled down by the car. Sierra had too much water in her lungs as well as hypothermia. It was so cold it could have been snowing."

"A-all while Aunt Bellatrix was pregnant?"

"Unfortunately it wasn't a good year for her. Barely three weeks later she lost her baby, she thought she could hang onto Rodolphus for support, but he backstabbed her by leaving two weeks after that…dirty scumbag…"

"She was torn up about it." Narcissa said. "She resorted to drinking and…oh boy, she was a mess. Luckily we got her to see a therapist and he's sort of become part of the family now."

"Yeah, Tom's very understanding." Sirius said. "But if he hurts her, I will rip his nose off his face and shave him bald."

Draco couldn't help but burst into laughter while Sirius looked confused and Narcissa smiled at the two of them.

**A/N: Please tell me your thoughts. If it is great, then good. If it is bad or somewhere between, please tell me why because you would be a good human for advising me on how I may improve…unless you're an alien or android or penguin or Pokémon or Digimon or whatever, you would be a good being.**

**I will NOT abandon this story. It just takes me longer…especially now since I just realized I'm trying to write six different stories at once… I'm ultra busy with school…and another is worming it's way into my head…Is there any way to ki- I mean get rid of plot bunnies? **

**PS, anyone catch the reference? Not Harry Potter…this entire thing is a Harry Potter reference if you didn't know that…why wouldn't you know that?**


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